You’re walking through the farmers market with a screaming toddler tucked under your arm football style. You’re tired, you’re leaving without the produce you came for and you’re embarrassed.
You pass by an older woman on the way out, steeling yourself for judgment.
Instead, you get a knowing smile and hear, “We’ve all been there. You’re doing great, Mama.”
And suddenly, you feel seen.
These commonplace moments with a stranger can make all the difference in helping someone feel like they belong, but until recently, these sparks of connection didn’t have a name. Now, thanks to a University of Georgia researcher, they do: evanescent interactions.
“What is communicated by these evanescent interactions is essentially, ‘You’ve noticed me. You’ve confirmed my existence. You’ve communicated that I am welcome here, that I belong here, that I have a place here, that I have value,’” said Joseph Hermanowicz, author of the publication and a professor of sociology in UGA’s Franklin College of Arts and Sciences.
Hermanowicz defines evanescent interactions as brief moments when “strangers exchange gestures that create a ‘spark’ between them.”
What is an evanescent interaction?
An evanescent interaction is more than just an ordinary exchange of pleasantries.
These moments consist of brief but meaningful exchanges of mutual understanding and connection.
“It’s important to be pleasant and kind to people, particularly in our present times, of course,” Hermanowicz said. “But I think it’s also important to recognize that when we do have a certain deliberateness with communicating with people, we could be accomplishing something very meaningful. We could communicate to people that they are important, that they matter, that we together form a community.”
In his earlier research on the causes of undergraduate attrition, Hermanowicz found that evanescent interactions often influenced whether a student stuck it out or dropped out.
Former students who dropped out said that a meaningful encounter with someone at the university who showed genuine interest in their well-being might have helped them feel more like they belonged.
A lot of people are lonely. These sparks of connection can thwart feelings of not belonging.
Joseph Hermanowicz, Franklin College of Arts & Sciences
“In the absence of such contact, they felt alienated and not noticed, which fueled or did not impede a desire to leave,” he said. “So they left.
“A lot of people are lonely. These sparks of connection can thwart feelings of not belonging in the various groups and organizations that we are a part of, whether those are friendship groups, work organizations or society more broadly.”
Evanescent interactions are brief, positive and highly emotionally charged. They’re so ordinary that people may not give them a second thought.
But they hold larger significance, Hermanowicz said.
“Evanescent interactions are crucial to social life,” he said. “Two people communicating empathy to each other and recognizing each other as important holds extraordinary consequence. It affirms our mutual place in human community.”
The article was published in Theory and Society.